Once upon a time there was an evil witch named Rachel (RA-KEL) who owned a dog and a cat. The dog vanished, and the cat was caught up in some bizarre experiment. “Finally, my last ingredient, KYLE!”
Rachel said as she cat-napped Kyle from his miniature home and threw him into a pot with chopped carrots and mysterious chemicals.
In a fit of evil laughter, the evil witch tossed her head back. Rachel then took a wooden spoon and began stirring the “soup.” It was an gross green with lighter green streaks, Kyle almost puked.
Kyle began to glow after 5 minutes of churning, Rachel knew this was a good thing because the instructions said so. Kyle, on the other hand, exploded.
Kyle perished and came back to life as a zombie because the explosion was so powerful. He was also tossed to the other side of the world. He ended up in a factory that makes cyborg babies. Rachel was OK because she is magical.
Kyle looked around the factory he was in, he noticed an intercom on the wall and metal scraps piled into a corner.
“Cyborg babies, attack!” yelled a loud voice over the intercom in the factory’s main area, where hundreds of cyborg infants were positioned.
The cyborg babies’ eyes on their robotic side blazed a bright red, indicating that they were now in attack mode and staring at Kyle.
Stitches covered half of his face, and patches were sewed onto him, the fabric of which was an unsightly red floral pattern. He resembled a worn-out cat plush for a two-year-old.
One of the cyborg babies suddenly leaped into the air trying to land on and crush Kyle, but Kyle manages to avoid the cyborg babies’ unsuccessful attack. When the baby landed, it exploded, shattering the other babies around, but there were still too many for Kyle, a little zombie cat, to tackle alone.
But suddenly a crash happened behind Kyle, and Kyle turned around to see what had happened. He noticed a stack of factory ceiling tiles on the floor, and underneath it was DaDedDog, a famous rapper, and Rachel’s lost dog. He was head first on the ground for so long that the sun set and rose in the same exact position where he was when he crashed, and the cyborg infants and Kyle just stared at him, not sure if they should call the cops.
Then DaDedDog leapt to his feet and punched a cyborg baby in the face. The baby exploded into a million pieces, one of which hit another baby in the face, which exploded into a million pieces as well, and another cyborg baby was hit by one of the fragments. This went on for another day until there was only one baby left, at which point the baby exploded from fear.
Kyle and DaDedDog then became best friends and returned to Rachel’s house, where she was still experimenting on replacement cats who looked precisely like Kyle but weren’t zombified, and they lived happily ever after.
The End